mY ALTER EGO hAPPY
I used to be heavily depressed, but these quotes changed my perspective on life.
MAY 09, 2026
Here are some quotes that have changed my perspective on life–coming from a person who used to be very suicidal. It’s crazy how much of a difference a quote can make.
First off:
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise - F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Crack Up
This one was a game changer for me, because I tend to be pessimistic even when life is good, because I can’t fully enjoy happy moments when knowing for example that other people suffer severely in other parts of the world. I am extremely aware of my privileges, that others are not as lucky, to the point that it leaves me very depressed. But this quote made me realize that you can be aware of the bad, while also acknowledging the good, and be determined to make the future better.
And God said ‘love your enemy’ and I obeyed him and loved myself - Khalil Gibran
This one hits extra close to home, because I deal with a lot of mental health issues, and it saddens me that my brain works a certain way, but this quote made me feel a little bit more friendly towards my ‘demons’. Your identity is a superpower, not an obstacle. Learn to work with your brain, rather than against it. It is a process, but oh so worth it. We cannot let the demons win.
Maybe it was embarrassing and I got hurt in the end but at least I was willing to show someone else they deserve love.
I got my heart broken recently, and all I have to say is; Love is never wasted.
Next one; Sometimes the fear won’t go away, so you’ll have to do it afraid.
There is also another similar quote that I love that goes; Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery, and I promise you something great will come of it.
I will live after this for the rest of my life from now on. Let’s take more risks, let’s live fully.
You are not late. You are not behind. Most people meet their life partner at 27. The average age of a millionaire is 57. Most people don’t buy their first home until 38. Everyone is moving at their own pace, writing their own story. So take a second to focus on your own life and appreciate how far you’ve come, and still how much life you have yet to live. Buckle up, it’s gonna be an awesome ride.
When you are stressed and anxious, remember this. Also, meaning requires struggle. Struggle for the thing that matters to you.
It is never a waste or a stupid idea to believe that better times will come.
Thoughts on the book Moral Ambition
First of all, I want to say that this is one of the best books I’ve ever read—if not the best. I strongly encourage everyone to read it. It inspired me, moved me to tears multiple times, and I know I’ll never be the same after finishing it.
It’s incredible how a book can change you like that. After reading 234 pages, I feel like a different person. Or maybe not entirely yet—I still have to go out into the world and make a difference. But the old version of me wouldn’t have believed in myself enough to even try.
That’s what makes this book so powerful.
The side profile I couldn't accept
I was thinking back on a memory the other day.
I was around 17 years old. I wore braces, and I already felt like my crooked teeth were a problem, but there was something else that felt wrong—my jaw. I would stand in front of the mirror and study my side profile. To me, it looked disproportionate, and I became convinced that something was wrong.
I obsessed over it for weeks. It was honestly all I could think about. Eventually, I told my dentist that I thought I needed jaw surgery, because there was obviously an issue that needed to be fixed. But she told me there was nothing wrong, that I didn’t need any kind of surgery.
At first, I didn’t really believe her. I remember thinking that maybe she just wasn’t skilled enough to see the problem I was so sure existed. But over time, I let it go—partly because I didn’t end up getting the surgery, and partly because it would have been too expensive for me to afford on my own.
That leads me to another memory. I remember going for a walk with my best friend at the time, and I said, “If I had the money to undergo a cosmetic procedure, I would do it in a heartbeat.” I was so deeply insecure about my appearance.
Thinking back on it now, I can’t believe I said those words. I feel sorry for that version of myself—the girl who hated the way she looked simply because she didn’t look like “them.” And while I still sometimes feel insecure and affected by beauty standards, I would never make that choice today.
Not because those pressures are completely gone, but because I wouldn’t want to contribute to unrealistic standards or make younger girls feel like they aren’t beautiful just as they are.
The price of beauty
A great video that explores how beauty standards are shaped and constantly influenced by society, media, and cultural norms.
It discusses how cosmetic surgery has become increasingly common worldwide, as well as how perceptions of appearance vary across different countries and cultures. A particular focus is placed on how social media, the job market, and popular culture can contribute to growing pressure to meet certain beauty ideals.
The video raises important questions about why appearance has taken such a central role in modern society, and how this affects individuals’ self-esteem and choices regarding their own looks. Through statistics and examples from around the world, it highlights how beauty is not only a personal matter, but also something strongly influenced by social and economic factors.
Yasmeen Riad Matter - Mother Of Five In Gaza
I follow Yasmeen Riad Matter on Instagram. A Palestinian woman raising five children while fighting for their safety and survival in the Gaza strip. As I have followed her journey for some time now, I wanted to hear more about her story. So I asked her for an interview, and she agreed to do one.
This is what she said:
How are you? How are your children doing?
“Okay first, praise be to God for everything. But inside I'm not okay. I'm constantly afraid of everything, afraid of losing my children and my husband, just like I lost all my family in this war. My children are constantly scared and anxious; they can't sleep, neither from the bombing nor from the insects that appear in our tents. But I am continuing to teach them; I don't want their future to be wasted. But raising them in these circumstances is very difficult."
What’s a regular day like for you?
“A normal day is one in which we don't hear the sound of explosions and it passes without any new losses.”
What’s it like living there as a woman?
“As for my feelings as a woman, we have been deprived of all our rights in this war. To live in a tent is a terrible thing; there is no privacy at all, and we are all in one tent—me, my five children, and my husband—which is not big enough for us. I feel like a man struggling just to keep my children alive.”
What do you dream of?
“My only dream is that my children will never go to bed hungry.
I only pray to God that their dreams come true and that they complete their studies, because they are very talented and despite this genocide, they are still continuing to study and learn.”
Her reality is very different to mine, and I will never understand why I get to live freely and safely–while she and many others–don’t get to.
The cost of militarism
I am currently reading Blowback by Chalmers Johnson. In the book, Johnson criticizes the use of American military power and economic influence around the world, showing through different examples how these policies can create future conflict and suffering.
The chapter I’m reading now focuses on Okinawa, where the U.S. had military bases for a long time. Johnson explains that there were cases of rape and sexual abuse, in which U.S. soldiers took advantage of local Japanese women. He also describes other ways the military presence harmed people, such as drunk driving incidents and accidents caused by military aircraft.
Sexual violence is well-documented as a tool of war, yet there is far less discussion about how a military presence can cause suffering even in times of peace. Incidents like abuse, accidents, and the broader social impacts of stationed troops often go unnoticed, hidden from public view. This makes it clear that the consequences of militarism extend beyond the battlefield.
While war is often unpopular, militarism itself is widely accepted and even celebrated in society. Reading about this makes me question the role of the military and the use of violence even more.
Alter Ego
I wanted to create this platform because I’ve struggled to be confident in my own skin my entire life. It’s only been until recently that I’ve become confident in myself. All the external pressure - to perform well in school, to look beautiful, to not stand out, to not be different or weird, to have a high status job, a lot of money, a beautiful home, friends, a social life - you know the drill - have made me feel very insecure about myself.
I’ve especially struggled with feeling beautiful. I’ve always felt insecure about my looks, thanks to the beauty standard. Thankfully, I’ve grown to like myself and my appearance, but it has taken a lot of work to get to this point, and I still continue to work on my self-esteem every day.
When you feel insecure about who you are, how you look, or where you come from, it doesn’t just affect how you see yourself—it makes you question what you’re capable of.
One thing that has truly helped me is stepping into an alter ego. I struggle with depression and anxiety, but to fight that, I step into my alter ego ‘Happy’ (My middle-name is Happy, kind of ironic). Happy is joyous, grateful and positive. When I feel small and powerless, I step into another one without a name who is simply ‘THAT woman’. She is fearless, hardworking, and successful.
Thinking this way changes everything. It reminds you that you are not limited to one version of yourself—it makes you show up differently. I got tired of holding myself back. Of letting society define who I am and what I can do. I get to create myself. To grow, evolve, and shape my life in my own way.
That’s what this page is all about. Step into your alter ego. Break free. Be confident. Live limitless. Work hard, chase your dreams, and do not let society define you.
Book Recs
I am currently trying to find a new book to read and I stumbled upon a website recommending “The Best 69 Big Tech Books”, and I think all of them seem really interesting. Click the button to see the list:
Chasing the Ideal Face: How Media Shapes Beauty
I asked OpenAI to generate an image of a “beautiful person,” and the result closely matched widely celebrated facial features: slender upturned noses, full lips, sculpted cheekbones, defined jawlines, and subtly cat-eye eyes. These traits dominate the beauty industry, magazines, ads, social media, reinforcing a narrow standard of beauty. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
Many celebrities, influencers, and individuals openly undergo cosmetic procedures, further normalizing these ideals. Social media filters, especially on platforms like Snapchat and TikTok, subtly reshape faces to fit these standards, influencing young people from an early age.
Research from Medical News Today (2023) shows that exposure to beauty ideals negatively affects mental health, increasing body dissatisfaction, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem in both men and women—particularly young women.
The beauty standards are everywhere—media, ads, social media—and they shape how we see ourselves and others. The beauty industry, brands, and influencers must take responsibility by showcasing diverse facial features and not normalizing cosmetic alterations.
We recommend:
anything goes with emma chamberlain
Episode: chasing happiness is making you miserable, advice session
We recommend:
Her Health Voice
Her Health Voice publishes personal women’s health stories and experiences shared by real people.
Reverse Selfie is a short film by Dove that highlights how social media and photo‑editing tools can harm the self‑esteem of young girls. The video shows a girl’s highly edited selfie being “played in reverse,” revealing all the digital alterations—from smoothing skin to reshaping facial features—until the unedited reality of her natural face is shown. The film emphasizes the pressure to conform to unrealistic beauty standards online and urges viewers to rethink how digital distortion affects confidence and body image, especially in young people.
We recommend:
Verse Creates
A Youtube account that shares beautiful insights about life.
We recommend:
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Episode 676
“DR. DANIEL AMEN: STRUGGLING TO FOCUS, STAY ORGANIZED, OR FEELING OVERWHELMED BY YOUR TO-DO LIST? ADHD COULD BE QUIETLY RUNNING YOUR LIFE (THIS IS WHAT TO DO!”
Personally, I really liked this episode, because Dr Daniel Amen speaks a lot about ADD/ADHD in women.
PMDD & PMS
“At least 90% of women with regular menstrual cycles report unpleasant physical or psychological symptoms premenstrually. For the majority of women, these symptoms are mild and tolerable. However, for a certain group of women, these symptoms can be disabling and may cause significant disruption in their lives.” - MGH CENTER for woman’s mental health
To be frank with you, I have currently ZERO inspiration, motivation, nor discipline, to continue working on my goals. Life sucks. I suck. Everything sucks.
I am never going to achieve my goals. I am the worst person alive.
I am in my luteal phase.
Everytime I find myself in the trenches, fighting for my life. No kidding. Every single time. After some trial and error I’ve learned that this loss of grit and increased pessimism is caused by my hormones.
I lose myself completely, I turn into a total mess. Oftentimes I have to focus on just keeping myself alive. “The only way out is through”; is my mantra during my luteal phase.
Crazy thing is though, that I didn’t know my hormones were the reason for all of these thoughts and feelings. For many years I thought it was just flare ups of a former depression, and deep insecurities coming back to the surface.
Now I know that it’s just temporary feelings, and nothing is wrong with me. My mind is playing tricks on me - they’re only thoughts, not facts. So, take this as a sign for you to learn more about PMDD and PMS if you relate to feeling like your world is colliding every one or two weeks before your period.
when your brain says you can’t
I want you to tell yourself that you can’t lift your arm. Focus on that thought. “My arm won’t go up.”
Now I want you to raise your arm. Could you?
My guess is yes.
Whatever battle you are fighting in your head, just know; that youcan.
So, DO.
Believe in yourself. Nothing is temporary, you are not the same person as you were yesterday, and most importantly;
YOU can.
The movement is alive
“For years, the Dove Self-Esteem Project has empowered girls to shift their focus from how their bodies look to what their bodies can do – a powerful step towards building lasting body confidence and self-esteem. Let’s give girls even more reasons to feel confident by celebrating the qualities that make them who they are, such as creativity, courage, intelligence, braveness and many more.” - Dove
We recommend:
Anything goes with Emma Chamberlain
“Anything Goes” with Emma Chamberlain is a podcast centered on candid dialogue and thoughtful reflection, Emma sits down each week to share unfiltered conversations about her thoughts, emotions, and experiences—especially around mental health. She doesn’t sugarcoat or try to be perfect; instead, she talks openly about anxiety, self-doubt, growth, and all the messy parts of being human.
Tara Montazeri
Post-colonial perspective, feminism, sudan
Something I’m struggling with is the post-colonial aspect of world politics and feminism. I myself am a white woman and I feel torn on how to make a positive impact from where I’m sitting.
I want to spread awareness but also embrace non-Western women. Without becoming a ‘Western feminist’ that tends to portray women in the non-Western world as passive victims, without their own agency, and who thus need to some extent to be “saved” or “liberated”. That is not my mission.
I’m bringing this up because I feel obligated to share information and spread awareness about the use of sexual violence as a war tool that is going on in Sudan. It is grotesque. My heart breaks for all of the women in the world who have been sexually assaulted in one way or another.
According to an article written in April 2025 on UN WOMEN’s website;
“The conflict in Sudan has disproportionately shattered the lives of women and girls. Millions have suffered displacement, been stripped of their livelihoods, exposed to soaring levels of gender-based violence, and pushed to extreme hunger.
Women outnumber men as internally displaced persons across all age groups: 53 per cent of internally displaced persons are female. UN reports show there are at least 5.8 million women and girls displaced within the borders of Sudan. Women make up more than half of the 12 million people displaced inside and outside Sudan.
Alarming rise in gender-based violence and sexual abuse: In less than two years, the number of people at risk of gender-based violence has more than tripled. An estimated 12.1 million people, or 25 per cent of the population, are at risk. While cases remain vastly under-reported and services are at a standstill, in 2024 Sudan saw a staggering 288 per cent increase in demand for gender-based violence services, compared to previous year.
Women’s economic insecurity puts them more at risk of gender-based violence: With the collapse of women-led businesses, supply chain disruptions and financial losses, many women who were financially independent now rely on humanitarian aid. Their economic instability makes them even more vulnerable to gender-based violence and sexual exploitation.
Extreme food insecurity for women: Over half the population of Sudan – more than 24.6 million people – are facing acute food insecurity. Food scarcity has been detected in at least five areas, and five more will follow by May 2025 if the current conditions prevail. Women are less food secure than men because, under existing social norms, they often eat last and least after distributing food among other members of the household.
Nearly absent healthcare for women: Close to 80 per cent of hospitals in conflict-affected areas are no longer functioning. As a result, maternal deaths are surging and women and girls also lack access to menstrual health supplies, mental health support and safe spaces. Some 80 per cent of displaced women cannot afford or access clean water because of the distance they must travel and safety concerns.
Women have been excluded from peace talks: Although they are on the front lines, negotiating safe passage for people fleeing violence, providing lifesaving aid, and advocating for peace, women have been excluded from diplomatic talks, including regional and international peace negotiations held previously in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Supported by UN Women, women peace champions have demanded 50 per cent representation in peace processes.” - UN WOMEN
believe in yourself
In today’s post I want to encourage the person who’s reading this to believe in yourself.
This is really random, but recently I read an article about a woman named Mia Thomsen, also known as ‘MarathonMia’. This article told the story about Mia who went from not being able to run 1,55 miles, to eventually becoming one of Sweden’s leading ultra marathon runners.
This wowed me. Because, I myself workout quite a bit and some days I struggle to run 1,55 miles, to be honest. To think that I could achieve something similar is mindblowing to me. Just by having grit. Isn’t that an amazing thought?
Often we hear stories about people doing these extraordinary things, thinking that we can’t relate to their story at all. When in fact, the people who are doing all of these extraordinary things, are just ordinary people, with grit.
I hope this inspires you, because Mia’s journey really inspired me. It made me believe in myself a little bit more. When you doubt yourself I want you to think about Mia Thomsen, who once couldn’t run 1,55 miles, and then later in life being able to run hundreds of miles.
The article explained that she at 24 years old had enough of her current lifestyle and wanted to change her life, so she did. So can you. The only limit is yourself, I know, cheesy, but it’s so freaking true.
Mental health
Today I want to touch briefly on the topic; mental health. It’s something that I’ve been struggling a great deal with throughout my life.
I’ve had pits of depression and dealt with tons of anxiety. To be honest, it’s always a constant battle inside my mind. Especially, as I’ve been struggling with anxiety A LOT lately.
I just want you to know that you are not alone. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy - and let’s face it, sometimes I probably am. Because anxiety truly messes with one’s head.
Lately, I’ve had to fight my anxious thoughts literally. Every. Single. Second. Of. My. Day. (No kidding). While dealing with life in general. It’s been rough, but I’ve managed to get through it, over and over again. Day after day. It sucks, but better days are waiting ahead, as nothing is temporary. The only way out is through - and that’s true for any obstacles coming your way. Walk through the fire.
I just wanted to share this, to remind you (and myself) that whatever you are going through will pass, and life will make sense again. Never. Give. Up.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Melinda French Gates
Madhu Vasihnaiv
Founder of Saheli Women
malala
Yousafzai
Jeanne Zizi Margot de Kroon
“Starting as a dream seedling of creating a brand that celebrates women's collectives, artisanal craft and our connection to the earth and its cycles, Jeanne de Kroon went to India on a mission to seek direction and inspiration for this dream, leading her to Madhu Vaishnav of Saheli Women. Madhu had just formed her women's social enterprise in the small rural village of Bhikamkor where she gathered women from her community together with their sewing machines to encourage community development through creativity and drive to facilitate women's economic and social rural independence.
After listening and learning with Madhu and the rest of the Saheli Women, Jeanne fell in love with their stories of strength and also fell back in love with fashion again. Inspired by her travels to India and a deep found respect for female co-creation and human stories, ZAZI was formed in Jeanne's small student bedroom starting with just 7 ikat dresses.” - The World of Zazi
Sterling Hyltin
Sterling Hyltin is an American ballet dancer who formerly served as a principal dancer with the New York City Ballet. She joined the company as an apprentice in 2002 and entered the corps de ballet the following year. In 2006, she was promoted to soloist, and just a year later, she rose to the rank of principal dancer.